Annoying Things About Starbucks That You Don’t Notice Until You Spend Five Consecutive Days In One Working On Your Laptop

  1. The tunes that are playing are the same tunes over and over again. Baby I Need Your Loving, I Feel Good, and the Shaft theme song are fun, but not suitable for daily listening.
  2. Going to the bathroom requires that you pack up all of your stuff and take it with you. By the time you return, your table has been acquired.
  3. There are never as many power outlets as people with laptops.
  4. The tables are too small to put your laptop, coffee, and ASP book in front of you all at once. You must constantly shift your items around the perimeter of the table, keeping in front of you only the one you’re currently using. You may not use more than one item at once. The best tables are those with the engraved disabled symbol, which are essentially big wide desks. These tables are few.
  5. The disabled table by the power outlet is always in use by the long-haired uber-geek on headphones, who also guards the nearby bathroom, proactively informing those who would enter that it’s locked, and they first need to get buzzed in by a clerk. Because how else would they know?


May 20, 2003
East Village, Manhattan, New York